Right, so I moved back to Exeter two days ago and we've only just got internet - it's sooner than we expected to get it, but our router seems to be made of fail and the only way I've managed to get a connection is by Mega Long Ethernet Cable of Doom. I'm one level down from the router, you see. Anyone who actually wants to enter the house is gonna trip and die. *thumbs up*

So I'm moved in, I've filled my food cupboard, ordered some of the books for my course, just started getting used to all the walking that being a student in Exeter entails and I've seen a few people for the first time in months. I think this officially means that I'm back.

Also, if you like sex, drugs and creepy pictures in attics*, you should go watch Dorian Gray. Like, right now. Why are you still here?





*And Oscar Wilde.

Not much going on at the moment. I spent my last few days in Exeter either staying up far too late with Yksi and Rhosyn or tidying and cleaning the house to the tune of Matt making lists and commenting on my mould cleaning technique. He seems to think that doing everything at the last minute is not a viable option. I've been employing the last-minute method for twenty years and it's worked out for me so far. How do you tell an obsessive-compulsive social retard that you know what you're fucking doing and his comments on how late you sleep in are not helpful?


Now that I'm home, my time has mostly been spent playing Rock Band and reading Harry Potter. I started again from The Philosophers Stone and loudly feigned surprise at the plot twists.

"He's a what?"

"She wants him to be on the Quidditch team? Oh, that's a relief!"

"Oh gosh, I never expected it to be Quirrel!"


And my laptop doesn't appear to be working, so I won't be on MSN. Phone me if you want to get in touch. I am a sad and lonely rat. And there's one song on Rock Band that I can't play on Hard. Woe is me.

Oh, and I've been watching that 5-part Torchwood series, but I'll comment on that when it's finished.

Where is my brother with those jelly babies?

I'm leaving Exeter on the 5th of July and going back to Nailsea. I can move back to Exeter at the start of September (not sure exactly when).

I've explained everything to Sainsburys and they've said yes, fine, and I can probably have my job back when I come back in September. Unfortunately, there isnt a Sainsburys anywhere near me in Nailsea, so I can't tranfer stores while I'm at home. I might try to get a job in one of the supermarkets in Nailsea.

Also, due to aforementioned job, I have money again (although not as much as I should have due to unexpectedly high gas & electricity bill for April. But at least I could pay that thanks to job.)
But yes, I have money for once, so will be able to do pub things and similar adventures while at home. Text me! (Uh... you might have my old number. My new number is 07545772697)


/End update.

INNUENDO

Well, that was fun. Quotes of the day:

-Never before has "spelunking" been so onomatopoeic." (Discussing... well, you don't want to know. Maybe you should guess.)

-Me: "Is it Sunday?"
Rob: "Is hope not."
Me: "Um..."
(we both look lost for a second)
Rob: "Consult the oracle."
Me: "Isn't Saturday. Must be Sunday then."


Other things... I made these:

Customise your own love hearts

Author Hair - a Neil Gaiman (de)motivation poster

And one more thing: watch this video with earphones in for maximum weirded-out-and-sort-of-scared effect. (Bob, I don't think you'd like it.) It's an animated video that depicts (I think) a room inside the head of a mentally disturbed (or maybe injured) person.

I have to write a 30 line poem (or two 15 line poems, or three 10 line poems etc) by Monday on the theme of REPUTATION.

Ideas please! I have plenty for the short story task (an unsuccessful search) but I'm drawing a blank for this.

And don't tell my examiner that I asked you guys for help :p

I have things to share with you.

A tasty treat.

And a feeling of weirdness.

The room is spinning and I'm not sure whether it's because I'm drunk, hungover or high on caffeine.
Probably a combination of the three.

Slightly worrying: I find myself having actual coversations with the personification of one half of my personality (i.e, Smudge)
I think this counts as having multiple personalities.

PS,

Me and Rob made a poo chart. Matt wasn't impressed. I made a column for each of us and one for guests and at the bottom I wrote "marks out of 10 and a comment please". Rob's comments are hilarious:
"9/10 - now that's what I call a ghost poo."
"2/10 - when did a wet fart become a poo? Needed a lot of wiping whatever it was."

Was in Vaults last night and got stopped by someone who had noticed my tail. It was a couple of LARPers and they wanted tails for their characters. I got the guy's phone number and I'm going to put him in touch with Ikkarub who made my tail. I love random encounters.

And then... no, can't put it where my sister can read it. Ask me.

And this morning I went to my lecture drunk (don't know why I bothered, the lecturer was the most pretentious guy ever. And he had the audacity to quote e.e.cummings and Oscar Wilde. And he said that the most exciting thing about reading a book as a child was the big ornate letter at the beginning of each chapter. I don't know about you but I was more excited by the fact that Mr Magnolia had only one boot.)
I sat at the back so that I could stretch out over 4 chairs and Not Puke. And I giggled all the way through because the things this guy was saying were ridiculous.

One more thing... I've been told by someone that I'm the best kisser they've ever kissed. This isn't the first time. A lot of you have kissed me. I want opinions - I don't have to be your best kiss ever but I want to know what you think.

I think I just scared my cat off by protesting squeakily when she put a paw on my laptop and managed to minimise the webpage I was reading. She's been needy and demanding recently because I'm house sitting and there's no-one else to feed her, stroke her and act as a cushion.

But that doesn't mean she can minimise my webpage when I'm in the middle of reading smut, damn it.

PS, "...and he invented a helicopter that did not work. And so did I."

So I finally downloaded Stumble. It's a really useful application that shows you a random web page based on your interests. Here are the coolest things I've found so far:

This tells you how old you are on other planets.

Mouse Party - getting a closer look at the brains of drugged up lab mice.

Oh lookit, cute little animals ignoring their natural instincts in favour of friendship.

Build your own Kaleidoscope (this could keep you entertained for hours.)

Watch this then check out the guy's site.

Virus game.

And now for something completely different.

Has anyone ever typed "Pirates vs Ninjas" into Wikipedia? If not, read this.

Some randomness for you.

This morning I found myself wandering the kitchen looking for something that didn't fit one of the categories "not exactly the cleanest thing in the world", "don't go near this without gloves" or "toxic waste". The only thing I could find was myself, which doesn't really count.
The dirtiest thing I found was the extractor fan. Not only is it broken and makes "Tom put pasta in me and now I don't work properly" noises, there's a layer of grease covered in a layer of dust forming a furry covering on all of the blades.

Random thing number two:

I was wondering whether the phrase "physician, heal thyself" could be applied to other professions. Such as "dietician, starve thyself". "Politician, blame thyself." Anyone got any others?

This is a webcomic about cute things gone bad.

Remember this entry?

Well, I did this:

( snails )

Hell yeah:


21

Edit: I've got a Meme for you. Shuffle all songs on your music player (I used Party Shuffle on iTunes), pick the first 10 that come up and add "in my pants" to the name. Like so:

1 - Die, die my darling in my pants
2 - Poison girl in my pants
3 - Mama in my pants (that would, of course, be your mother)
4 - Lips like morphine in my pants
5 - Lose you tonight in my pants
6 - Wake up in my pants
7 - Macy's Day parade in my pants (... and everyone's invited? O_o)
8 - Breakout in my pants
9 - Taste in men in my pants
10 - Beautiful tragedy in my pants.

That was hilarious. Now you do it. In my pants.

If you've ever watched The Mighty Boosh, picture me as Vince and Simon as Howard and read this conversation we had last night.


In more serious news, I have switched from English and Psychology to single honours English and I've chosen which modules I'm taking next year. 17th Century Renaissance literature, social change in the 20th Century, "Desire and Power" (this one's going to be really cool. It's stuff like A Midsummer Night's Dream) and a creative writing module.
Like this year, I'm going to have one 2-hour seminar and one 1-hour lecture for each module, which means 6 hours of work a week. I'm starting to realise that this is a bad thing because I'm incredibly lazy and not motivated enough to do anything work related in my non-scheduled time. If they forced me to do stuff I'd be more productive.

In less serious news, I have thought of a story about a cat based on an experience I had the other week. It goes like this:

I just spent my English seminar drawing on my arm and the handout we were given. I think at one point I made a useful comment about how when Daisy Miller "gives her sweet eyes" to people, it sounds like she wants them to eat her eyes. My seminar tutor was not impressed, but I don't care because the dinosaur on my arm looks like it's going to attack the Flying Spaghetti Monster any time now, and when that happens it'll be epic.

Information for whomever it may concern:
Term finishes tomorrow and then my sister is coming over and then we're going home on Sunday (the 16th) - but we won't be back in Nailsea until late, so if you're a friend from home, count it as the 17th.
I'll be going back to Exeter after two weeks at home - Matt and I have decided to be back by April the 1st if we can manage it, so that we can do April Fools stuff. Then it's 3 weeks until everyone gets back and term starts again.

The dinosaur and the FSM are getting closer. The dinosaur just snapped at one of the Noodly Appendages - could it be retaliation time? Bob the octopus is watching with interest.

I have almost no money left, thanks to the £400 deposit on my house for next year. I'm letting the psychology department experiment on me again at 3 o clock and they're going to pay me £7 for it. This should significantly increase my monetary worth. The only reason I have anything left in my account at all is because I've given up alcohol for a week.

The FSM has the dinosaur in a headlock, but the dinosaur's sharp spines have cut through His Noodly Appendages. I think the FSM is going to try to bludgeon the dinosaur with one of His meatballs. I have to go watch this ultimate battle to the death - here ends my entry.

For those who are baffled at my Facebook status... it happened like this.

(Nat is sitting in her room, reading John Dies At The End, which I still totally think you should read. There is a knock on the door.)
Nat: Come in
(Matt opens the door and beckons for Nat to follow. He leads her to his room and gestures at the computer.)
Matt: Choose some pictures to print out
(Nat thinks this is a perfectly normal thing for him to offer because he's been printing out photos for people and putting them on the notice board in the kitchen. She selects some photos and moves them over to the memory card. Tom enters the room.)
Matt: OK?
Tom: Yeah.
(Nat finishes with the photos and heads back to her room, vaguely wondering why Matt and Tom are following her. She opens the door. There is a big lump to her left with a towel over it.)
Nat: What?
Tom: *giggles like the dumb twelve year old girl that he is*
(Nat removes the towels. There is a fucking huge tree trunk in her room.)
Nat:.............................................................................................????????????
Tom: (Immensely pleased with himself) It took three of us to carry it up the stairs.
Nat: I love you guys. What the fuck am I going to do with it?

Over the next couple of hours, everyone visited my room to see Stumpy. Larissa came to see me today and when I answered the door I told her "I think I should warn you that when I say my room's a mess, I mean that there's a tree in my room."

It comes up to my waist and ends in five sawn-off branch stumps. I still have no idea what to do with it. Maybe turn it into a table?

Edit: The tree is gone now, but here's a picture of Errol and his puppy slave playing with it:

Tonight is the Winter Solstice, and me and rocksolidhair (that's my friend Bex) are staying up all night with a candle and some Anime and double choca mocha. We stole this quiz from paranoidmango (aka Claire)

Everyone's going home. Tom's already left, Simon and Anna are packing and some of the others are leaving tomorrow. I'm going to miss them.
Not looking forward to my train journey with a bag full of clothes plus constantly worrying about my laptop. Glad my mum is going to drive me back up.

So, last night we had our Christmas dinner. Normal people have party poppers... we had a party cannon. Bits of coloured paper everywhere and I had to throw away the last of my wine because it turned purple. Secret Santa was so funny - Paul had the sack of presents and made all of us sit on his lap and tell him what we wanted for Christmas. And when we'd had quite a lot to drink, we made a round of toasts. It all started off like "Here's to J2!" and "Merry Christmas" and degenerated into "May everyone have lots of Christmas sex" and "I love you guys!"
And then we played drinking games and went to Arena. Now I'm going to put pictures on Facebook.

I am nesting:



Ps, (for Graham) - Team Win FTW