Yesterday and today were my first proper shifts on the checkout. Once you get into the swing of things, it's actually very easy, unless someone does something unimaginably strange like hand you a coupon O_o
Plus I was on the 10-items-or-less checkout today, so people had bitesize amounts of shopping. And fewer screaming kids.

Tomorrow is my furmeet what I arranged all by me onesies. I'm also planning to have lots of people over tonight for drinks and debauchery. Rune is visiting Shirik because she and Kitt needed a slave to help them move house, and hopefully Avalanche made it to Exeter as well. Makari and Blue have Mika visiting, Yksi has Rhosyn and Cloakable is also in Exeter for a few days.

I want to get drunk.

This is a movie you should see: The Boat That Rocked.
( This is why you should see it )

I've just found a way to make huge amounts of money while furthering the realm of philosophical wisdom and enlightening thousands, nay, millions of people.

Read this and tell me it isn't brilliant, soul-searching and fucking vague:

As for this is there a substantial life? Is that exactly the imagination? In order to escape from actuality it is caught in the landslide. Open the eye, inspect in the nul, and see. I am the exactly poor boy, I do not need resonance, but easy you coming to me, easy it goes a little lower, it is a little high, shock of the wind, what really is important anywhere.

That, my friends, is the opening lyrics of Bohemian Rhapsody put through a translator into Japanese and back into English again. Now imagine what I could do with a little Shakespeare, a little E.E. Cummings, a little Poe and a dash of Freddy Mercury.

I COULD START MY OWN RELIGION!

(even better - when it goes through French, it sounds romantic. This is English to Japanese to English to Chinese to English to French to English:)

With the massive lives about this? Is it correctly that an imagination? To escape to him to seize with the crumbling of the fact. Open the eye, examines it in no one, and sees. I am correctly poor boy, I do not need the cord sympathetic nerve, but am easy to move you towards my, is easy he to go to be lower, he small high, vibration of wind, something really important in any place.

Obviously it needs some grammatical tidying, but this is pure fucking gold, people!

Fan of Joss Whedon? Annoyed by the Writer's Strike? Always wanted to be an evil genius? You need to be watching this. Better hurry though coz it's only up until Sunday.

It's a musical, too.

Eurovision: at least we have some consolation in the fact that Germany and Poland were just as shit as we were (although we had the alphabetical disadvantage that put us last on the list of scores.) Towards the end we were hoping that the other two countries would get a couple of points each so that we could have the claim to last place all to ourselves.
Actually, I was surprised that Ireland voted for us. Seeing as it's all political, wouldn't it be logical for them to hate us?

At least Greece didn't win. The Russian act was boring and non-eventful (apart from the ice skater with terrible dance moves), but the Greek act was female and clichéd and scantily clad and so much like all the other boring acts. It looked for a while like she'd win (and that she'd die from gratitude), but then Russia stayed at the top for the last six or so countries that revealed their votes, so it was obvious who'd win.

Some acts worth mentioning:

Finland: I don't know why they were on Eurovision because they seemed like a band I'd actually listen to in a Finnish metal-y kind of way. Lordi had the cheese factor, these guys had... you know... talent and stuff.

Portugal: we got a busty woman with an incredible voice and everyone in the room starts bitching about how fat she is. You're not that attractive either, guys. This woman was talented, striking to look at and wearing an impressive dress. I like her.

Bosnia & Herzegovina: how very strange they were. But we liked it. Because it showed aspects of their nationality and Eurovision is all about the strange.

Georgia: reminded me of The Rocky Horror Show because they were wearing white and had sunglasses and were doing weird dances.

France: the guy looked like Jesus. And his backing singers all had fake beards. Even the women.

Spain: terrible, terrible song. Too terrible for Eurovision and yet it still scored higher than us. But I liked it for one reason - " Cuatro: el robocop."

Croatia: I wish we understood the lyrics. This was the one with the Mafia guys and the dancing ladies in red and it all looked very theatrical and the old guy was called "75 cents" which just shows that you're not supposed to take this kind of thing seriously.

Azerbaijan: the guy with angel wings singing in an impossibly high-pitched voice. And the devil guy poured fake blood over a woman who then proceeded to rub it into her chest. An impressive first entry for the country with the silly name.

Latvia: my favourites. Guess why. And what makes it better is that the lead pirate looked just like Tim Curry. And I love the name "Wolves of the Sea."

In summary: why didn't Latvia or Finland win? What was so special about Russia? Why did anyone at all vote for Spain? Why didn't we get more than 2 countries' votes? (We weren't that bad, surely.) The answer: the quality of the acts and how many votes they get are unrelated.

PS, Terry Wogan is the best voice-over ever. He cares about the show as much as the rest of us, which is to say, not at all.

The next bit's about Sweeney Todd and is full of spoilers. If you haven't seen it and are over the age of 18, wait until you've seen it to read this. That means you will go and see it, bitches.

The meme is "Post 10 things that recently made you happy" but I'm changing it to focus specifically on "10 reasons why I love living here." Note: there is one word that I've censored in this post. I'm not afraid of saying it, and I do say it frequently in Tom's general direction, but I know it can offend people and also my sister might read this.

1. Rob had been away for the weekend. When he came into the kitchen, I'd been drinking a bit, so I launched myself at him and almost killed both of us in the process. This morning, he got a biro and labelled the bruise on my arm "Rob's Bruise"

2. Fiona gave an entire bottle of wine to me and Simon because they weren't going to drink it. I looked at Simon and said "we have two choices: either you go and fetch a couple of glasses or we're drinking from the bottle."
His reply: "It seems to me that we only have one choice."
Me (already drinking from the bottle): "I think you're right"
We drank the entire bottle in about 2 minutes. It took me several hours without drinking anything else to sober up.

3. I walked into the kitchen last night to find Simon with a long pink straw tied around his head and a very extravagant moustache drawn on his face.

4. Last night, me Fiona and Anna went out in our pyjamas to buy fruit for the chocolate fountain. Fiona had the letters "PF" (Paul's initials) written on her face in chocolate.

5. I didn't get to sleep until 4 in the morning because Simon tried to take away peoples' souls and then (after a long discussion about what a soul actually is) he decided to let humans keep their souls, but gave all other animals souls as well. This caused an uprising that led to the extermination of every human on the planet. We were talking complete nonsense for at least 2 hours while Fiona was sprawled on her front across two mattresses, fast asleep.

6. This morning, I came back from lectures to find Simon sitting in my room on his mattress with his laptop on his lap. After some matchmaking via MSN (see number 7), I grabbed my duvet and fell asleep on top of him.

7. I later ventured into the kitchen in search of nourishment. A Blink 182 song was playing on the TV and I started singing along.
Tom: "See, Lesbian knows her Blink 182"
Me: "Of course I do."
Tom: "Why is Tom DeLonge such a C***?"
Me: "Must be his name."
(Tom then proceeded to smush bubbles from the washing up all over my face)
Tom: "Hey Lesbian, was Simon in your room earlier?"
Me: "Yes, it was me who wrote that stuff on MSN."
Tom: "I thought so. Simon's never said 'buttsex' in his life."
Me: "It's about time he started then."

8. Loren came into the kitchen (as you can tell, it's where we do all of our socialising) wearing a black dress and asked me: "do my boobs look bigger?"
Me (studying them closely): "Yeah, they're bigger than usual."
Loren: "That's because I'm wearing two bras."
Me: "Wow."

9. (A little later on):
Me: "You missed Loren's breasts."
Simon: "Loren has breasts?"
Me: "Yeah. They were here."
Simon: "Damnit."
Me: "Yeah. Hey, I'm bored. Wanna swap t-shirts?"
Simon: "OK."

10. Fiona and Anna had the three girls they're going to live with next year over for dinner. These are fairly well off, slightly spoiled girls who live in quiet, catered accommodation and are not used to the likes of us. Instead of leaving them alone, we traumatised all of them by being loud, drunk and generally crazy.

In summary: we are awesome. I'm glad I live in Lafrowda and not some expensive place where no one talks to anyone else.

Today was Pretend to be a Time Traveller Day. Matt has a video of me and Rob trying to work the primitive ATM... it didn't even have retinal scanners. Also, while I was asking for directions to the nuclear wessel, someone walked past and said "haha, Chekov."

Everyone's gone home apart from me, Matt, Rob and Fiona. And John, but he doesn't count because I haven't seen him for days. I don't know whether to go home tomorrow or Monday or Tuesday. I'll probably leave it until Tuesday and be in J2 all alone.

I've found a German band on YouTube called Wir Sind Helden (we are heroes) and the lead singer is so cute and there's a guy with a beard whose entire life seems to be hitting drums and things. I would like to be him. Anyway, here's them singing various songs in a lift (they kidnap someone who works at the hotel and take him in the lift with them). Watch the video and then search for them and listen to some of their other songs (I like 'Nur ein Wort', 'The Geek Shall Inherit' and 'Von Heir an Blind'). Their music videos are funny and cute, too.

I introduced Rob to the wonders of Terry Pratchett. We watched Hogfather in two installments - two days ago and today. He thought it was awesome, so I think he might start reading the books. Also, I wore a Dragonforce t-shirt to Nicky's house party and her housemate (Trishy) asked what kind of a thing Dragonforce was, I told her it was a band, she looked them up on YouTube and ended up downloading at least an entire album. Yay for converting people to my fandoms.

First, a continuation of my previous rant. I read ten more chapters of genesis and decided that since I wasn't taking any of it in, it would be a much better use of my time to watch X Files instead. Apparently, God made Rachel barren because he favoured her sister, who was also married to the same person as Rachel. The sister had some kids, Rachel got jealous and offered her handmaiden to her husband, who gave the husband 2 kids, then the sister was barren and God let Rachel have kids again, so she had a whole bunch and the sister did the handmaiden-offering thing, so the husband had 2 more kids with the other handmaiden... then I think the sister was made fertile again and had another kid. Whatever. Point is, this dude had enough kids for a football team with four different women and God can't make up his damn mind about anything. See? Soap opera.

Then they were all abducted by aliens, and that's when the Bible ends. No, not really. But it would be cool. Genesis meets X Files... oh yeah, that's a Star Trek movie.

So anyway... tonight I'm going to the LGBT superhero-themed social dressed as Superman disguised as Clark Kent in an alternate universe  where his gender is reversed. Which means that I'm wearing a superman t-shirt and trying to be clever about it. To save money, I'm going to drink some wine before I go, so I should only need one fairly alcoholic cocktail to get me nicely drunk.

Last night was sci fi. My pet fox and I looked at pictures of fox-girls (including this one) and I made his hair look pretty and then I showed everyone the Tentacle Rape page on Wikipedia because there's a picture. The only reason that I know there's a picture is because a while ago, Fern wanted to know whether Yuri and Yaoi count as Hentai, so I looked up Hentai on Wiki and found a list of kinks/perversions (which did feature Yaoi and Yuri) and then I started clicking on things that sounded interesting. Including Tentacle Rape.

Wikipedia is fun.

Dave sent me the link to HIM's MySpace music page, which contains the songs from their new album. A few examples of song titles: Venus Doom, Passion's Killing Floor, Cyanide Sun. Cheerful, aint it? Go listen.

This is for Ken because he likes shiny things: 



 


Also, I took pictures of the cathedral last week and this is probably a good place to put them: 


I want to see the inside. Exeter is so beautiful in some places. The university campus has some great picnic spots too (for the summer, that is. I don't fancy sitting outside in the freezing cold on damp grass!)

Last night I went to see Motion City Soundtrack because my friends were going and had a spare ticket. The two support acts - Zolof the Rock and Roll Destroyer and Straylight Run were both excellent, so check out their music. MCS were good too (I haven't heard much of their music before, but now I might look out for them) but it's not quite the same being part of a huge crowd of fans when you don't know any of the words.