So this is probably the most hilarious moment of my life:

A few days ago Rob finished his exams. As you can probably guess, the first thing he did was chug a big ol' bottle of vodka and get silly. So he was in the living room, saying hello to me, which involved high fiving me so hard that my palm began to sting... anyway, he was in the living room and Matt walked in.

Matt said three words: "Rob. Bathroom window."

The next thing I know, Rob has toodled off to the bathroom, Matt is watching out of the window in the hallway and I'm covering my eyes and whimpering "I refuse to watch him die!"

Within ten seconds, Rob had jumped out of the second floor bathroom window. Matt shouted "Oh God, he's hit a car!" and I was really, really convinced that he'd actually managed to kill himself, this time. And then there's a sound n the stairs and Rob is dragging himself back up and complaining about how much it "fucking hurt!"

He's been walking around on crutches. Matt had to push him around Sainsburys in a wheelchair, and if they'd gone half an hour earlier I could have pointed and laughed from the chekout. Rob has taken the official line "I fell down the stairs while completely sober" because his sister's staying for a week and she neither drinks nor understands drunken behaviour.

But, oh guys. The silly look on Rob's face when he decided that jumping out of the bathroom window was the best idea he'd ever had. So precious.

I impulse-bought a new MP3 Player. It is purple. I will put music on it and then I will listen to the music and possibly sing along, out loud or in my brain.

It's nice to have money to throw away on things. I also impulse-bought something from Simply Pleasure, but no details about that unless you want them.

Another impulse buy was Reggae sauce instead of tomato ketchup. Here are the things that go well with Reggae sauce: everything. So far I've had it with bacon sammiches, fried egg sammiches, chicken nuggets and (currently halfway through eating and very much enjoying) cheese on toast. The bottle is sitting cheerfully in the fridge with the silhouette of a dancing Jamaican on the label. This is good shit, man. I'm telling ya'.

In other news, it's sunny and my housemates have bought water balloons. I've learned to look up as I'm entering and exiting the house. Whenever Matt calls me upstairs to look at something, I know what's coming (but I go up there anyway because that way they soak the stairs and not any of my stuff). It's kind of refreshing to be soaked half-way through a swelteringly hot day.

Me and Rob had a nice revision session earlier. We tore pages out of the Ikea catalogue and threw them at some Relentless bottles, and every time we missed we had to say something about Victorian literature. We missed a lot.

Now I shall go back to not-revising.

I went to Cardiff for a few days (couldn't get into Torchwood but I was attacked by Daleks) and came home to find this:




My room is now tidier than it has ever been before, but very much covered in foil.

I'll poke Leon and get him to post the pics of me interacting with the Doctor Who exhibition.

So I put some cheese on toast in the oven to grill about an hour ago. I made some tea, carried it into the living room and sat down at my laptop.

( Little did I realise that my innocent yearning for cheese on toast would be the cause of something so sinister, so tragic, that it must be placed behind an LJ cut lest it scar the minds of children. )

This is the best game ever.

Here is a link to all of the Twilight books.

You have to pick a chapter, scroll down randomly and pick out a paragraph. Then you have to find everything that's wrong with it - all the clichés, the bad writing, comma rape (thanks Dekaff), the over-amorous zeal with which the author wields her thesaurus, over-use of the word "chagrin" and anything that just makes you cringe.

Then you re-write the paragraph so that a normal person might read it and quite like it.

Warning: the penmanship is so bad that you'll want to cry. You might have to get drunk before you play this game.

Edit: New game - write Twilight fanfiction that's better than the actual novels.

LOL.


My plan to avoid contagion is to stay away from Mexico.

Here's a thing I stole from yksi87 :

Take a look at your LJ friends list, then list up to five things you want to say to five different LJ friends. DO NOT state who these people are. DO NOT confirm or deny any “comment speculation.”.

1. I don't mind your crazy. I think it makes you much more interesting than any of those boring sisters I could have had, and I quite like having someone to worry about.

2. It ought to be weird that we're living together next year, but I feel comfortable with it. I guess it just goes to show that we're not shallow people.

3. You're a big enough part of my Exeter university life that you'll leave a hole when you graduate. I'll have to find several people to fill the space, because I don't think I could replace you with a new best friend.

4. What the fuck do you think you're doing? Stop being American. Come live in my country again, so that we can have adventures.

5. Seeing you and a certain other person together makes me smile. Thank you for existing to be her soulmate. Also, I think you're a strong and amazing person, but you already knew that.

First off: I've been commissioned to draw someone's adorable bunny boyfriend. Yay!

OK, so the rest of the post is about Death Note. ( Read more... )

Ignore the deleted entry if it showed up, I was just checking whether this worked (I was asked for a transparent background and had never done one before.)
This will be a post about my weekend. By "weekend" I mean last Thursday to yesterday (Tuesday) - rather long for a weekend, but rats are fun-loving types.

( There's a lot back here )

So it turns out my geography teacher was right. When your standard of living is low, your quality of life increases. I have taken simple things like milk, bread and fruit for granted, but no longer! I've just had one of these moments:
( Pictures (and softcore strawberry porn) under the cut )

Listen up bitches, coz you'll never get this close to perfection again.

( Ooh baby, click me. )

I've just found a way to make huge amounts of money while furthering the realm of philosophical wisdom and enlightening thousands, nay, millions of people.

Read this and tell me it isn't brilliant, soul-searching and fucking vague:

As for this is there a substantial life? Is that exactly the imagination? In order to escape from actuality it is caught in the landslide. Open the eye, inspect in the nul, and see. I am the exactly poor boy, I do not need resonance, but easy you coming to me, easy it goes a little lower, it is a little high, shock of the wind, what really is important anywhere.

That, my friends, is the opening lyrics of Bohemian Rhapsody put through a translator into Japanese and back into English again. Now imagine what I could do with a little Shakespeare, a little E.E. Cummings, a little Poe and a dash of Freddy Mercury.

I COULD START MY OWN RELIGION!

(even better - when it goes through French, it sounds romantic. This is English to Japanese to English to Chinese to English to French to English:)

With the massive lives about this? Is it correctly that an imagination? To escape to him to seize with the crumbling of the fact. Open the eye, examines it in no one, and sees. I am correctly poor boy, I do not need the cord sympathetic nerve, but am easy to move you towards my, is easy he to go to be lower, he small high, vibration of wind, something really important in any place.

Obviously it needs some grammatical tidying, but this is pure fucking gold, people!

INNUENDO

Well, that was fun. Quotes of the day:

-Never before has "spelunking" been so onomatopoeic." (Discussing... well, you don't want to know. Maybe you should guess.)

-Me: "Is it Sunday?"
Rob: "Is hope not."
Me: "Um..."
(we both look lost for a second)
Rob: "Consult the oracle."
Me: "Isn't Saturday. Must be Sunday then."


Other things... I made these:

Customise your own love hearts

Author Hair - a Neil Gaiman (de)motivation poster

And one more thing: watch this video with earphones in for maximum weirded-out-and-sort-of-scared effect. (Bob, I don't think you'd like it.) It's an animated video that depicts (I think) a room inside the head of a mentally disturbed (or maybe injured) person.

Nicked from benji - I want imaginative replies, people.

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want -- good or bad -- BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you.

I finished reading listening to The Graveyard Book a couple of days ago. The ending left me with an empty, unfulfilled feeling. Without giving too much away, it felt like the end of Pirates of The Caribbean, with all the excitement over, Elizabeth in an ordinary, boring life and separated from the other characters with no chance of a reunion. It was sort of supposed to be a happy ending, but I didn't share Bod's enthusiasm for the world outside the graveyard.

I have a wonderful song to share with you:





And now I'm off to finish some more pictures. (Bob - you will be happy to hear that I'm doing yours now.)

For anyone who wanted to read it: How The Rat Got Her Tail.
It is a good story; not really intelligent enough for a Just So story and a little heavy on the repetition, but I'm happy with it nonetheless.

So I did my Monday exam and came out of it wanting a cigarette and a pint. I don't like exams; they don't give me long enough to think and I never see the obvious answers and rarr rarr rarr.
So we went to the pub and Everything Was Shiny.

As I said in my previous post, I have a week to write stuff for creative writing.( Some rumination about the creative writing task... )
Now here's a funny story before I go. ( Now if I cut it here, you only get the punchline. Ha ha. )

Much hilarity. At least it wasn't a tree stump this time. Also, there was cake.

Never mind the truth, the truth is boring. In future history books, this is what he'll be remembered for:

• The re-introduction of slavery laws
• Waging war on Mars
• Inventing the cucumber
• Sleeping with a thousand prostitutes (the highest recorded number in Presidential history. Clinton comes second with eight hundred.)
• Coining the phrase: "much more betterer"
• Driving the turkey to extinction
• Establishing Bushland, the popular theme park which later became Bushworld and then Bushplanet
• Declaring Bushland an independent country
• Pioneering the popular fashion of reading upside down
• Being the first black President in American history.

In unrelated news, Happy Birthday Edgar Allen Poe.

So here it is: a Doctor Who based drinking game. I don't know much about the first, second and seventh Doctors so I'll skip them, and I got bored with the companions as there are so many. Make up your own rules, Gorammit.
( Drink up me hearties, yo ho )

Just read the 'offence' and if you've done it, you owe that fine.

You don't have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine.

Note: fines to be added once, not for how ever many times you have done it.

( Here be the offences )

I'm such a genius. I brought my scanner home with me so that I can finish off the millions of pictures I've been drawing lately, and I left the cables back in Exeter.

Me and Bob have been watching Firefly. I am clearly not a proper nerd because I've only seen a few episodes and watched the movie; we both felt this should be remedied.

This is funny:

As I said in response to benji 's post... this is what Christmas means to me:

-drinking lots of wine with my Mum
-spending time with my sister (and drawing her a picture for Christmas coz I cant afford a present)
-pub meal with my friends and secret santa
-cold walks with my dog
-spoiling my cat because no-one else will
-getting my work done before uni starts again

Incidentally, I'm back at home. And (thanks to hackferret - many hugs and gratitude) I have a laptop again. It is called Roadkill and runs Ubuntu.

So I was searching for my usual Firefox icons and I found one called Morning Coffee, which opens all the bookmarks you save on it in new tabs when you ask it to. This sounded very useful, so I downloaded it - and then I found out that you can also tell it which days of the week you want it to open each bookmark. Perfect for keeping up with webcomics.

Kitchen adventures with kitty_cross :
( Culinary excellence, the Adcock way )