Look for me in the brightest of places...

Bob's visit, Hallowe'en, a couple of other things.

2009-11-05T16:36:51Z

Once again I have become rubbish at updating, so here's some stuff that's been happening:

Bob and Dalby and Dalby's friend Dale came to visit last week. I organised a furmeet in Exeter, which broke up fairly quickly on account of a certain person annoying Bob to the extent that she wasn't having a good time. Bob doth not suffer fools gladly.
So we grabbed our favourite people and brought them home with us. Settled down to watch Rent because it turns out that Nicky and Dale share a massive fangirl obsession with it. Paused Rent one song in because Dalby decided alcohol would be a good idea. Settled down to watch Rent again, this time with more elixir of inebriation. Discovered that Rent is awesome.

And then last weekend we had a Hallowe'en party, because dressing up silly is awesome fun. I looked like this:

Behold my geekiness. I am cosplaying as my original Star Trek Character, Eila. She is an Orion doctor in Starfleet, yo. (Orion in the same sense that Spock is Vulcan. She's half Denobulan, but calls herself Orion for convenience.)

Anyways. The Hallowe'en party was awesome. People keep showing me pictures and videos of me doing drunken stuff. I kissed Lyn, then kissed Isaac (her boyfriend) just to be fair, I sang "Fuck Her Gently" with Nicky while straddling her lap, I did a sexy dance with Nicky and Lyn... probably some other stuff I can't remember. Good times.

Two more things... Bob made me these. They are shiny:

Skip this next bit if you don't care:
The first two are adapted trainer sprites from Pokemon gameboy games - edited to look vaguely like me and with tails added. The first is a Sentret tail painted black and white and the second is a Rattatta tail that looks more like a normal rat tail (i.e, less purple). And the last picture is what a Rattatta would look like with a Sentret tail (like my fursona - a rat with a lemur tail.)

Basically, they're adapted Pokemon sprites that look like my fursona. And I like them.

The last thing is that I seem to have acquired a person. I like him and he likes me too and we're seeing how things go. Ask me if you're interested.

NaNoWriMo, bitches

2009-10-16T20:25:51Z

National Novel Writing Month is November, and I've decided to have a go at it this year. For those who don't know what it is, the idea is to write a novel (50,000 words) in a month, starting on the 1st of November, and finishing on the 30th. You just start out writing and don't stop until you're finished, sacrificing quality in the interests of quantity.

I'm hoping this will kick start me into writing more often. I'm interested in how this will turn out, and whether I'll get anywhere near the 50,000 word mark.

This is the website, where you can create an account, sign up and add me as a buddy (if you so desire). It would be nice if someone else was going through this insanity alongside me.

What the hell have I just signed myself up for? o_O

Mystery Can

2009-10-08T20:39:24Z

I keep meaning to update with things, and then I don't, and it's got to the point where a proper update would either be too long or miss stuff out. So here's the abridged version: I have started uni, I've been doing social type stuff and I have a cold.

The rest of the update will be about Mystery Can.

I have been playing Mystery Can with Rob. Here is where the concept came from. A brief version of the rules for you: you buy seven cans, rip the labels off, swap cans with another person and open one can per day for seven days. You have to eat at least half of the contents of each can.

Here are the cans I bought for Rob:

From left to right: prunes, the disgusting soup we encountered last year, a substance beyond the realm of human comprehension (mainly composed of curd), whole water chestnuts in water, creamed corn (eww), custard, hummus.

So I took the labels off and wrote on them, for good measure:

I thought I was just been childishly amusing, but apparently I was employing cunning use of psychology here, because I got a text later that said "Urgh golden can urgh! Looked like chunder!"
Clearly he opened the golden can first because I'd claimed that it was magic. Incidentally, that was the Grandmas stuff that was mostly made of curd.

So the week commenced and I opened my first can.

Hot dog sausages! Something tells me Rob doesn't quite understand the spirit of Mystery Can. (Actually, it turns out he did his shopping while hungover and just bought a bunch of random shit. What a n00b.)

I warmed up the sausages and covered them in cheese:

This left me feeling slightly nauseous, so I guess Rob got the better of me after all.

Mystery Can number two turned out to be more on the disgusting side:

That's Sainsburys Basics curry. The bacon made it more bearable, but it still wouldn't be my first choice of breakfast.

Mystery Can number three looked a little foreboding to start with:

But after poking it to see whether it poked back, I established that it contained marrowfat peas and decided that this could actually be a good can.

Microwave, melted cheese, om nom nom nom nom. Definitely doing this again.

After shaking Mystery Can Number four, we decided that it was probably fruit of some kind. I started on it with the tin opener and got some clear, sugary-smelling liquid, so it looked like fruit was definitely on the menu. Then I peeled the lid away and saw this:

Until now, I thought I knew what rhubarb looked like. Mum used to grow it in the back garden. It's purple and soft and definitely does not look like brains. This stuff tasted similar though, so I decided to give it a chance.

My first reaction was to mix it with something yummy and have it for breakfast:

That was kind of nice until I got to the end and ran out of steam. I passed it over to Lyn and let her finish it off for me.

Real life kind of took over for the next two days and I didn't really have time for Mystery Can. So when it came to the seventh day, I had three cans left and I chose to open them all and eat them together in the hope that they would go well together and none of them were custard.

Things were looking good when Mystery Cans five and six turned out to be tinned tomatoes and vegetable soup. And then Mystery Can seven turned out to be this:

Mmmm, spinach. No way was I eating more of that than I needed to. Bleh.

So I mixed everything up in a saucepan and heated it. It was looking and smelling good, even if there was an awful lot of it.

It actually turned out to be a pretty good meal, and I think it did my sore throat some good. Maybe I'll do it again some time.

So there you have the saga of Mystery Can. I later found out that after having three of his cans on schedule, Rob got drunk, opened all of the rest and drank them, one after the other. He then promptly threw up. Mystery Can is a different experience for everyone, and I quite enjoyed it. Anyone want to do it with me sometime?

Reasons Why We Need Ken Back

2009-09-27T15:54:03Z

• We miss him.
• Graham needs a boyfriend.
• Rhosyn hasn't met him yet.
• Saskia is coming back to England and Ken should, like, totally live with her.
• Isaac is back; clearly all the cool kids are doing it.
• Proper pubs.
• English accents.
• Wagamamas
• Watching the Discovery Channel with Fi at midnight.
• He hasn't met the Queen yet.
• ADVENTURE!
• He never got an Exeter hoodie, the pleb.
• ???
• PROFIT!!!

Back in Sexeter

2009-09-14T20:57:02Z

Right, so I moved back to Exeter two days ago and we've only just got internet - it's sooner than we expected to get it, but our router seems to be made of fail and the only way I've managed to get a connection is by Mega Long Ethernet Cable of Doom. I'm one level down from the router, you see. Anyone who actually wants to enter the house is gonna trip and die. *thumbs up*

So I'm moved in, I've filled my food cupboard, ordered some of the books for my course, just started getting used to all the walking that being a student in Exeter entails and I've seen a few people for the first time in months. I think this officially means that I'm back.

Also, if you like sex, drugs and creepy pictures in attics*, you should go watch Dorian Gray. Like, right now. Why are you still here?

*And Oscar Wilde.

One should always be prepared for any kind of apocalypse

2009-09-06T17:27:00Z

I had a dream last night in which there was a zombie apocalypse and we only had two board games in the house so I had to go to Tesco for a massive shop. And this got me thinking about how unprepared I am for any kind of apocalypse. So, the plan is, when I eventually get a house of my own - a proper house with a mortgage and a basement - I'm going to make sure I'm prepared.

I have such an urge to draw this. Here's what I have planned: a cold room/larder type thing with my food stores - shelves full of tins, organised by sell-by-date. Then there'll be another room that'll mostly be empty - the plan for this room is to use it to grow plants for food and also to store things like weapons and medicine. Until the apocalypse actually comes, the food-growing areas will be empty, but there will be soil, seeds and a sprinkler system set up in preparation. Likewise, there will be secure storage lockers for medicine and weapons, so that I can buy these things when the warning signs of an apocalypse start to appear. Also in this room, I'll have some kind of generator set up so that I can generate my own electrity, and a water purification and recycling system (linked to the outside for rain collection if the apocalypse is not nuclear).

Then there will be the main room. This is the one that will actually be used while the world remains apocalypse-free. There will be a sofa bed (to be used mostly as a sofa until I need to move into the basement) and an entertainment system so that I can sit in my basement, playing Playstation and giggling at the anti-zombie posters I have stuck up everywhere. There will be a work-bench where I'll collect bits and pieces that I can turn into things like radio transmitters/receivers for when I need to contact others who may have survived the apocalypse. I'll need things like a bookcase full of useful information, for when the internet goes down and I can't just Google "how to make a molotov cocktail".

The main room will be decorated, like I said, with anti-zombie posters, nuclear warning signs, alien conspiracy information and stuff like that. I'll spend my time making contingency plans for various apocalyptal situations that may arise - aliens, zombies, nuclear explosions, natural disasters caused by the Earth finally rebelling against the presence of mankind. That way I'll be prepared for any situation. For example, when a virus that kills people and then animates their corpses turns up, I plan to buy a well-trained, obedient and fully vaccinated German Shepherd or similar type of dog to provide companionship and protection against zombies.

And as I've blatantly just referenced I Am Legend, I might as well stock up on as many apocalpyse movies I can get my paws on, no matter how ridiculous the plot, to help me prepare.

Also, I plan to grow marajuana in the generator room until I actually need the space for growing food. Just because I don't like to waste the space. The room's gonna be well protected and secured anyway, because you don't build a room with all your weapons in it and not put in some security measures.

Additional note: poo can be used as a fertiliser, so I won't have to worry about what to do with toilet waste. That's useful.

Big Update (because I'm lazy and update everything at once)

2009-08-25T15:14:56Z

Right, so...

Went to an Exeter furmeet last Saturday. We bought sweets, fed the ducks, went to Harvester and hung out on Cathedral Green for a bit before the Great and Powerful Bob decreed that she wanted to go home. This meant six of us leaving because Dekaff was getting the same train as us and I had coloursofdusk and wab coming home with me.

While we were eating fish and chips, my cat made a suicide run at the trellis that Dad had spent the afternoon putting up on the back wall. She climbed it like some kind of superhero, and then remembered that she's old and arthritic and scared of heights. I had to coerce her down with cheese, and she Was Not Impressed.

The next day we played Monopoly. I built my hotels of doom on the two streets either side of Free Parking. This is, logically, the area of the board most frequently travelled, as it comes up right after you get out of jail. Think about it: spending three whole turns banged up in the slammer, marking the days off on the chipped wall of your cell, finally paying your £50 to free yourself and BAM! That's £1000 for staying in my hotel, please and thank you. Yeah, mortgage those properties. Mortgage them and think of your children as you weep into your little top hat.

And this Saturday was a Bristol meet. Half the group went off to queue for the Banksy exhibition for four hours, and the rest of us wandered at our leisure, sat on the grass in the sunshine and did general Not Being Bored To Death In A Queue things. Then we went to the pub and the rest of the turned up and suddenly I was using one person as a headrest as another person gave me a foot massage. There arent many girls in the fandom... I feel sorry for the straight guys. Surrounded by furfags and unavailable girls. And me.

And now I has a Podlet (or Freckles, as I have named her). My cat loves her like a... cat loves someone who gives them attention. Podlet seems to think that if she manages to fit the kitty in her bag, she can take her home.

No, Podlet. My kitty.

This morning, we decided that my sister is awesome in bed. Because she's in bed. And she's awesome.

Also: Well done to Kitt and Shirik for getting married and not accidentally summoning an elder God or something. You never know. Big official religious ceremony... lots of people around... you say the wrong words and BAM! Cthulhu.

Also also: Nicky, I have a Star Trek fan novel that I think you'd appreciate because it's about people from lots of species overcoming their differences and living in peace and harmony and having kids with each other. There's, like, a Klingon with two half-human sons (one of which seems to want to be Vulcan) and an Orion wife who talks to him via communicator when she wants to ask him a favour, just so that she can be sure he's agreeing because he loves and trusts her and not because of her pheromones. How adorable is that?

New Art Journal

2009-08-17T14:54:49Z

So it's like this. I know everyone gets pissed off when they see "I'm leaving (insert site name here)" journal posts, but I want to draw attention to my reason for leaving DeviantART because it's a moral issue rather than a whiny emo rant.

Someone I was watching on DeviantART posted this as their reason for leaving. I pretty much decided that I agreed with them and that there wasn't enough keeping me on the site.

I still have my FurAffinity and I set up a new LJ account for my art: smudge_art. If you want to keep up with everything I draw, I suggest following the LJ account. I'll also link to it here sometimes, when I've posted a lot of stuff or if I post something I'm really pleased with.

Now let's never mention this again.

Holy Fucking Shit

2009-08-10T16:33:19Z

The future is here! This is equal parts creepy and amazing and exciting. Watch this video.

God, I love science.

Sharing Oreos with my cat, dressing as a pirate, comparing Atlantis to a big gay party...

2009-08-07T21:01:59Z

My cat likes Oreos. I twisted it and offered the half with the least filling stuck to it, and she helped me lick it. We bypassed the dunking stage in favour of cuddles.

Yksi and I went to see the Pyrates, who were performing as part of the Sidmouth Folk Festival. They were outside and there was a beer tent and a bunch of kids standing around, and it was a lot more fun than their inside gigs that we've been to. Oh, and we dressed as pirates:

No I cannot grin without looking like a spazz.

Oh, and I've been watching series four of Stargate Atlantis. Highlights: Lorne sleepwalking (barefoot), every time Keller looks like she's about to say "shiny!", John taking Ronon to his Dad's funeral as if he was his boyfriend, Radek being a small tunnelling creature, Ronon and Teal'c being just like Kirk and Spock in the latest Star Trek movie (as in, there were moments when I thought they were going to fuck it out.)
IT'S LIKE A BIG GAY PARTY IN THE PEGASUS GALAXY goddamn, no wonder there's so much slashy fanfiction for this show. And on top of all the UST between the male characters, Keller and Teyla kept having adorable moments together, as did Keller and Sam. Outbreaks of lesbianism all over the place. In my mind.

Yet another reason to use my Leonard Nimoy icon.

2009-07-30T11:00:36Z

I've been watching The Big Bang Theory on Megavideo. How awesome is this show? It's like a sitcom for awesome people. (If 'nerd' is synonymous with 'awesome person'. For a given value of awesome.)

For some reason, the thing I love most about the show is that you can hear the Texan roots in Sheldon's accent beneath the nasal tone of superiority. Also, the conversations they have while climbing the stairs are aesthetically pleasing. Does that make the broken lift a plot device?

I think I'm in love with Leslie Winkle. "Is there a reason you're smashing flash-frozen bananas?"
I need someone to make me a Hot Science Chicks icon. It ought to have Kaylee Frye, Toshiko Sato, Samantha Carter and Leslie Winkle. And Jadzia Dax. (I'm totally gonna keep thinking of girls to go on this icon.)

Favourite moments from Big Bang Theory:

- "I don’t guess. As a scientist I reach conclusions based on observation and experimentation. Although, as I’m saying this, it occurs to me that you may have been employing a rhetorical device, rendering my response moot."

- They rig up their lights, stereo and some remote-controlled cars to the internet. Then they rock out.

- Leonard buys a model of the time machine from the movie Time Machine. He climbs in, they have a lengthy dicussion about when he should travel to (he originally wanted to watch Alexander Graham Bell invent the telephone, but Sheldon pointed out that a) it doesn't travel in space, so he'd have to get there himself and b) it would get kind of crowded if everyone went back and did that, so Leonard agreed to go to the future when Captain Kirk steals a cloaking device from the Romulans and use that to watch the first telephone call) and then he turns the machine on, the disc spins, music plays and the other three start moving really fast and miming everyday activities so that it looks like he'a actually travelling in time.

- How Claudia Winkle comes on to Leonard: "I admire your fingering. Maybe sometime you could try that on my instrument."
(and this:)
Leonard: I thought you weren't interested in me.
Leslie Winkle: That was before I saw you handling that beautiful piece of wood between your legs.
Leonard: You mean my cello...
Leslie Winkle: No, I mean the obvious crude double-entendre.

OK, I stop there. No point in spoiling all the best moments. Go watch.

My brother, Dollhouse, Chronicles of Riddick

2009-07-27T16:59:38Z

OK, so firstly: I love my brother. He tried to pull my head off and I tickled him and he squealed like a girl. If the apocalypse comes and one of us is forced to kill the other in order to survive, the battle is going to be epic.

Secondly, here are a couple of things I've watched recently.

Dollhouse

This is Joss Whedon's (producer of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly, Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog) latest TV series and he seems to have surpassed himself in terms of brilliance. It begins with an interesting concept - a big corporation signs people up for five years, wipes their personalities & memories and downloads new personalities tailored to suit their client's fantasies or needs. After the five years is up, assuming nothing terrible has happened to their bodies (and the corporation treats their bodies as valuable, but ultimately expendable), they get put back into their bodies and set free.
The first thing that I thought when I heard this (and the fact that Eliza Dushku would be playing the main role) was that it would be a challenge to act. I wasn't sure whether she was up for the challenge of playing a whole bunch of different characters, but she proved me wrong. The second thing I thought was that the show had a lot of potential. I may have underestimated Joss Whedon a little bit, because I wasn't exactly prepared for how fun, clever and (surprisingly) terrifying it turned out to be.
Watch this show. It has layers like a goddamn onion. And it may have been because I was watching it in the dark with headphones on, but there's an adrenaline rush that accompanies the viewing experience, especially in certain episodes when Scary Shit Happens.
Oh, and if you're familiar with Joss Whedon, you'll be prepared for an awesome set of characters that you can take home and cuddle. Even the blank slates with supposedly no personalities of their own hold onto certain aspects of their old personalities, certain urges or moralities hidden in primitive parts of their minds that can't be tampered with, and in a way they're just as complex as the 'whole' characters that still have their personalities intact.

Chronicles of Riddick

This is probably science fiction, although thou shalt find no science hidden therein. Not even pseudo-science (which is always fun - take Doctor Who as a big shiny example). It has space ships and futuristic guns and shizz, but when you see some dude grab another dude and pull out his soul you know you've strayed far away from Science Fiction and into Crack Country.
This is why you should watch it: there's a bit where they're escaping from a prison planet where the sun warms the surface to 700 degrees. So basically, what they're doing is outrunning this big wave of magma. Also, Vin Diesel kills someone with a tea cup, ~~and it has Karl Urban in it as the totally adorable pussy-whipped bad guy~~.
With a tea cup.
Do you like aesthetically pleasing evil empires, improbable fight scenes, self-fulfilling prophecies and Dame Judi Dench? I like all of these things. ~~And Karl Urban. Which is totally the reason why I watched it in the first place. I want to huggle him.~~
If you are like me, you will like this movie. If you take everything too seriously, you will probably not like it ~~unless you agree that Karl Urban needs huggles, in which case you can fast-forward through anything that doesn't have him in it~~.

Reasons Why Rob Is A Fuckstick: #58

2009-07-22T15:02:25Z

(one fine day in the middle of the night)...

(00:57:48) Rob: HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA
(00:58:42) Nat (smudge): *hides in fear of your epic laughter*
(00:58:56) Rob: rob just went for a shit, but he locked me in the kitchen so i couldnt fuck with his msn- sadly the poor fool forgot that the kitchen has a door that leads to the garden, and the garden has a window that leads to the lounge, a window that he very fooolishly forgot to close
(00:59:06) Rob: WIN
(00:59:35) Nat (smudge): i am impressed by the lengths you've gone to just to fuck with his msn
(01:00:04) Nat (smudge): i wanna see his face when he comes back into the lounge and sees you sitting there
(01:00:41) Rob: bet he wont figure it out lol
(01:01:00) Rob: hmmm would emailing gay porn to his gf be a step too far?

-- (much hilarity later)...

(01:11:37) Rob: just heard rob hilariously attempting to flush the loo
(01:11:43) Rob: think he will be here any sec
(01:11:46) Nat (smudge): lol
(01:12:11) Rob: hahah hes gna break that thing if he aint careful
(01:12:26) Nat (smudge): quick - close down the chat and run back to the kitchen
(01:12:29) Nat (smudge): he'll never know
(01:12:33) Nat (smudge): it'll be hilarious
(01:12:36) Rob: haha even rob aint that dumb
(01:12:41) Rob: will try it tho
(01:12:44) Nat (smudge): lol
(01:12:46) Nat (smudge): go!

-- (soon)...

(01:13:45) Rob: haha just went for a number 2- locked my mate up so he couldnt fuck over me chat
(01:13:46) Rob: WIN
(01:13:56) Rob: managed to close itself somehow tho.......
(01:14:05) Nat (smudge): you locked him up where?
(01:14:10) Rob: in the kitchen
(01:14:19) Nat (smudge): LOL
(01:14:25) Nat (smudge): is he still in there?
(01:14:40) Rob: aw hes rattling the door like a poor little jew in hitlers little play pen
(01:14:44) Nat (smudge): LOOOOL

(He figured it out eventually)

Laptop fixed. Now I can tell you how bad Harry Potter was.

2009-07-21T15:53:10Z

Laptop's fixed. There was a problem with one of the wires that inputs into the screen, which meant the laptop was working fine but the screen was dead, as I suspected. Had to pay £50; hopefully it won't happen again.

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS READ NO FURTHER IF THOU HASTN'T SEEN THE SIXTH HARRY POTTER FILM

So. Harry Potter. I went in thinking it would be terrible but Snape and Bellatrix would be awesome. Turns out I was right. Oh, and Malfoy was pretty good, for once. Unfortunately, the rest of the film was badly acted, left out all the good bits, changed Dumbledore's lines so that he seems like a bit of a prat rather than an awesome eccentric, simplified the plot (thus destroying the sense of mystery and suspense of the books, rather than condensing it into a shorter but just as intelligent piece of cinema which is what the films ought to be) and changed the focus so that the romance between Harry-and-Ginny and Ron-and-Hermione overshadowed anything actually interesting about the movie (such as, I dunno, the mystery of who the Half Blood Prince might be, or the slowly-unfolding web of information about the Horcruxes, which was one of the things that was oversimplified, by the way).

Good things about the movie: Bellatrix (obviously), Snape (obviously), Slughorn (unexpectedly), Luna (obviously), the contrast between Harry's shiny happy world of friends and romantic drama and Malfoy's lonely task and his fear that he might fail, the bit in the middle where The Burrow catches fire (not in the book, possibly detrimental to plot convenience in the next two movies, but it looked good and Mrs Weasley's reaction was perfect), the bit where a thousand Gollums crawl out of a lake and Dumbledore Kills Them With Fire. Oh, and the decision to put Remus and Tonks in a relationship and cut out the faffing was a good one.

Terrible things about the movie: no Fleur? No Fleur? What is this blasphemy? Also: Neville doesn't get to be awesome as there's no fight at the end, Bill doesn't get Werewolfed as there's no fight at the end, Dumbledore doesn't get to politely terrorise the Dursleys because a completely pointless scene was inserted into the beginning in which Harry likes trains. And that was what I was most looking forward to, actually.

One thing that may seem minor but is very important to me: there wasn't enough emphasis on Snape's reaction to being called a coward at the end when he's running away. He's supposed to shout "don't call me a coward" at Harry, because he's spent several years risking his life for Harry and he's just killed a man he greatly respected 'for the Greater Good', ad worst of all he isn't allowed to let Harry know until it's too late. If there's one thing he isn't, it's a coward. This wouldn't have been difficult to work into the film, but it isn't there. I know cuts had to be made - that's obviously why Bill and Fleur were left out, as were all the best memories that Dumbledore shows Harry, but it's little moments like this that could have been done better, but the dialogue was mangled.

Anyway. In short: film terrible. Snape's hair fabulous. And that's good enough for me.

Torchwood: Children of Earth (Big Fat Spoilers)

2009-07-15T15:38:32Z

I STARTED OFF WITH THE INTENTION OF KEEPING THIS SPOILER-FREE, BUT WHAT'S THE POINT OF HAVING SOMETHING TO RANT ABOUT IF YOU HAVE TO BE VAGUE ABOUT IT? IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN TORCHWOOD: CHILDREN OF EARTH AND WANT IT TO BE A SURPRISE, DON'T READ THIS.

I was going to dicuss Torchwood: Children of Earth once it finished, but after the last episode I wasn't really interested in talking about it. The first four episodes were fun and exciting and filled with action and suspense and team camaraderie and shocking revelations about Jack's past and all that. Apart from the fact that a certain event at the end of part one meant that there was less of the usual Torchwood sneaking around pretending to be official types and doing sneaky things (as seen at the start of part one) and more running around being big damn heroes and saving the world, the first four parts were good.

Then the end of part four happened and I was left will a dull, empty, disenchanted feeling. ~~I'm trying to be vague so that this discussing doesn't contain any actual spoilers, but if you've seen it you'll know what I'm talking about.~~ Let me put this in some context: there's an episode of Stargate Atlantis called Sunday in which many people's favourite character was killed off. After this, there was much campaigning to being him back into the show. People were annoyed that he was killed of for no reason, in stupid circumstances and were worried that this meant the show's producers didn't care about the characters and might kill off one of the other secondary characters (say, Major Lorne or Dr Zelenka) without warning. A couple of other good secondary characters were killed off in the next series.

Torchwood has a lot fewer characters than Stargate. Furthermore, the two characters who were killed off in the second season (one of them without reason) were main characters, not secondary ones. This left many fans with the feeling of being punched in the face. What is Torchwood, we asked ourselves, without Owen and Tosh? Are they going to be replaced? Will the show ever be the same again? And once again, we were given reason to fear for the lives of the other main characters. This show could still be good, we told ourselves, as long as nothing happens to Ianto. He is the cornerstone that holds the team together. Without him, who will make the coffee?

WHO WILL MAKE THE COFFEE?

So, after the end of part four, my worst fears were confirmed: the show's producers were a bunch of morons who didn't know what they were doing. I didn't hold out hope that he might come back to life in part five, despite the old science fiction fallback that anything can happen. He was too dead looking when they unzipped the body bags and revealed his and Jack's faces.

But this was not the only reason I was fed up with Torchwood by the end of part five. I could have lived with Ianto's death if there had been a reason, some purpose other than to increase Jack's enormous burden of angst. However, as it turned out, that was exactly what he died for. Everything that the first four parts had been building up - the hints that Lois might join the team, Gwen's pregnancy, this new family of Jack's, the idea that the government might be against them - all of this was pushed away in the grand sweeping gesture of "Jack's angst has become too big for planet Earth to support. He's leaving and Torchwood is over. It's OK Gwen, you can make do with your happy ending, because being a mother is just as important as saving the world. OK BYE!"

Thank Cthulhu there will be no more Torchwood, or I might be tempted to watch it and have my heart broken again when Gwen gets killed, or loses her baby, or ruins her marriage by finally sleeping with Jack now that Ianto's out of the way. When did science fiction turn into a soap? When did scandal and angst and character death become more important than really cool aliens and gadgets?

Ending on a positive note, though, there were some truly epic moments in Children of Earth. Ianto playing Princess Leia, only with concrete instead of Carbonite and a forklift instead of a bounty hunter disguise. The revelation that the 456 have been using the children that Jack gave them as a recreational drug. That machine that reads your tummy and tells you whether you're pregnant or about to explode. Gwen and Rhys in the potato van, picking baby names, and later on when they're saving those children. Jack's daughter turning out to be some kind of superwoman, with a gun in one hand and her son in the other, whacking her pursuers in the face with what I assume was a breadboard.

And my personal favourite: “And if we can’t identify the lowest achieving 10% of this country’s children, then what are the league tables good for?”

Shame that they had to end it so stupidly. It's like someone decent wrote the first four episodes and then an idiot with a big purple crayon came and wrote "Ianto dies. Jack blows up his grandson and then runs away" all over the script.

Update

2009-07-08T15:22:38Z

Not much going on at the moment. I spent my last few days in Exeter either staying up far too late with Yksi and Rhosyn or tidying and cleaning the house to the tune of Matt making lists and commenting on my mould cleaning technique. He seems to think that doing everything at the last minute is not a viable option. I've been employing the last-minute method for twenty years and it's worked out for me so far. How do you tell an obsessive-compulsive social retard that you know what you're fucking doing and his comments on how late you sleep in are not helpful?

Now that I'm home, my time has mostly been spent playing Rock Band and reading Harry Potter. I started again from The Philosophers Stone and loudly feigned surprise at the plot twists.

"He's a what?"

"She wants him to be on the Quidditch team? Oh, that's a relief!"

"Oh gosh, I never expected it to be Quirrel!"

And my laptop doesn't appear to be working, so I won't be on MSN. Phone me if you want to get in touch. I am a sad and lonely rat. And there's one song on Rock Band that I can't play on Hard. Woe is me.

Oh, and I've been watching that 5-part Torchwood series, but I'll comment on that when it's finished.

Where is my brother with those jelly babies?

Update

2009-06-29T21:54:14Z

I'm leaving Exeter on the 5th of July and going back to Nailsea. I can move back to Exeter at the start of September (not sure exactly when).

I've explained everything to Sainsburys and they've said yes, fine, and I can probably have my job back when I come back in September. Unfortunately, there isnt a Sainsburys anywhere near me in Nailsea, so I can't tranfer stores while I'm at home. I might try to get a job in one of the supermarkets in Nailsea.

Also, due to aforementioned job, I have money again (although not as much as I should have due to unexpectedly high gas & electricity bill for April. But at least I could pay that thanks to job.)
But yes, I have money for once, so will be able to do pub things and similar adventures while at home. Text me! (Uh... you might have my old number. My new number is 07545772697)

/End update.

Writer's Block: Ze Kid Stuff, It Is Nice, Ja.

2009-06-23T10:51:54Z

What do you miss most about being a kid?

Submitted By daeinleyof

View 502 Answers

Lolwhut? When did I stop being a kid?

I miss not having to worry about money or organising things.

Being a semi-adult is better though. I still get to do silly things, but I have more freedom to do them. And a nicer body.

Sex is nice.

Oh, and I guess I miss having pets. I still have them, but not all the time, and it'll be a while before I can have my own.

I miss TV, sometimes. I think I always took that for granted.

I don't miss proper food and a warm, mould-free house until I go back home for a while and remember what I'm missing.

I think it would be nice to have a week off uni and work whenever I get sick, and be looked after. I usually miss home when I'm ill.

Alcohol is nice, though. And being able to go wherever I want without getting permission.

Being dragged shopping - that's something I don't miss. Being dragged around the supermarket. Now I just work there and get to watch all the unhappy kids and stressed mothers.

Oh, and I can eat what I want now, too. Mum had to balance the likes and dislikes of three fussy eaters. Now I don't have to eat carrots.

I can have tattoos now.

I can buy cake and eat it and now have Mum complain that I eat too much cake, because I'll have you know that it an impossibility.

I can get away with swearing more. But I miss not knowing what the swearwords were.

I never used to doubt myself. In the real world, I have less self confidence, and there's more scope for making mistakes.

One final and most important thing: menstruation. I miss the days when I used to wonder when I'd start my periods and whether it would be exciting. IT IS NOT. Oh, ignorance. I miss you.

OK, that's enough rumination. I have to go to the bank and cancel my standing order with ze estate agent, or they will take the full amount for July, the greedy fuckers.

Also, Nicky is coming to Exeter today, whee.

Star Trek Art Meme - this is awesome fun

2009-06-21T13:14:55Z

There's an art meme going around certain parts of the internet, and I filled it out and it was fun. I censored number 7, but you can see the original if you really want (uh, it's not that good, really. Although I've drawn something related that I'll also show you)

turntap2 is to blame for this meme and the template can be found here.

NOW YOU. Seriously, the point of art memes is not that you be able to draw (although I've seen some awesome ones).

Some random things, including Firefly fanfic

2009-06-14T17:01:38Z

Rob is totally revelling in being a cripple. I grabbed on of his sticks just now and he said "That's like downloading a virus onto Steven Hawkins' voice computer." He finally has a reason to be discriminated against and he's loving it.

I've been talking to an American woman on MSN quite a lot recently. We're fanfiction-writing partners in crime. She writes a bit, I write a bit, we discuss it a lot in between writing and when the chapter's finished, we edit it a couple of times each and it's surprisingly smooth. But we also talk about random (mostly fandom-related) stuff until the wee hours of the morning. Here's one of our conversations:

(23:46:54) Jedi Urru: lol, now I'm imagining Bones like...completely fucking smashed and all "nrrrrrh ya'll go ahead" because, honestly, most of us speak English until we're REALLY FUCKING TRASHED.
(23:48:00) Jedi Urru: I bet Bones has been to a Walmart equivilant at 3 AM. :P Because that's what you do in the South.
(23:48:14) Jedi Urru: "I'm drunk. Let's go to Walmart."
(23:49:07) Jedi Urru: Jim would be like ";__; Why are we at the store? *wanders around under florescent lights*"
(23:49:41) Jedi Urru: Bones is like buying shampoo and some little magnets and like "I need these pants"
(23:49:47) Smudge: heeeeeee
(23:49:49) Smudge: that's so cute]
(23:50:45) Jedi Urru: He may also have been mudding. He at least knows what mudding is.
(23:51:01) Smudge: *puts on Spock hat*
explain this... mudding
(23:51:46) Jedi Urru: It is when you get a truck, drive out into a field, find the biggest puddles of mud you can, and then crash through it. And then you don't wash your truck for a week so everyone else can see how hardcore you are.
(23:52:11) Jedi Urru: I went to school in one of the richest zip codes in the US, and it was the south, so people had mudded up trucks in the parking lot (and shot guns in their trunks). >>'''
(23:52:23) Smudge: that's awesome
(23:52:30) Smudge: i bet bones took his daughter mudding
(23:52:38) Jedi Urru: lol, aww
(23:52:49) Smudge: and the ex wife was all WTF o_O
(23:52:53) Jedi Urru: Yeah, he probably also let her drive. Even if she was six. That's Southern tradition.
(23:52:57) Smudge: look what you did to the truck!
(23:53:00) Jedi Urru: You got a truck in a field, the kid drives it.
(23:53:09) Smudge: and she's all pigtails and boots and "heeeeee!"
(23:53:22) Smudge: "Daddy let me drive!"
(23:53:27) Jedi Urru: lol
(23:53:32) Smudge: and he's all "damnit Joanna, you promised not to tell!"
(23:53:51) Smudge: and she's found a snail
(23:53:56) Smudge: OMG THAT'S WHY HE GETS ON WITH JIM SO WELL
(23:54:01) Smudge: jim is exactly like his daughter
(23:54:06) Jedi Urru: lol, awwwww

And now for the reason I started this entry in the first place...

Someone started a "kissing in the rain" fanfic challenge, and I wrote this:

They were playing hide-and-seek when the rain started. Kaylee had been searching the cargo bay, trying to remember all the nooks and crannies River had shown her when they were hiding from Simon together. Much as she thought of Serenity as hers, she admit to admit that River had an affinity with the ship that she'd never have, even if she called Serenity home for the rest of her life. She was also a very good hider, but you had to keep looking 'til you found her or she'd fall asleep all curled up in a ball in a cupboard or compartment somewhere.

She didn't usually run out from her hiding place, passing Kaylee without a word and heading straight for the big hangar doors, out to the dull, cloudy planet Serenity was sitting on 'til they closed this deal. So Kaylee followed her, stopping just inside the ship and watching, brow furrowed, as the young woman looked up at the sky with wonder on her pretty face and laughed; a sound of pure joy.

It was then that the rain began to fall, as if a cover had been lifted on the world and the water pressing down on it was finally allowed to fall, at River's permission. Raindrops landed on her upturned face, streamed down her round cheeks and saturated her long black hair, pressing it against her neck and making her fringe hang in shoelace strands. Her dress was soaked, clinging to her body instead of billowing out with her every movement like a natural extension of her body.

And then she turned to Kaylee, her eyes shining brightly, cheeks round and flushed red like apples with the force of her smile. “It's wet!” she shouted, her voice taking on the childlike quality that it rarely did when she was cooped up in the ship. She twirled, her boots dancing through puddles and her hair flinging out in all directions, shaking off water in a graceful defiance of gravity.

Kaylee thought about staying put and staying dry, and she thought about splashing through puddles and dancing in the rain, and then she was running, and laughing, and feeling the hard massage of raindrops against her face as she ran into River's outstretched arms. The younger woman was drenched, her arms slippery with it as she wrapped them around Kaylee and giggled, her soft voice tickling Kaylee's ears. Her body was cold and wet, her hair heavy and dripping against Kaylee's hands as she pressed them against River's back, but she held on, their laughter all mixed up as it bubbled up through their bodies where they were joined.

It was a surprise when River pressed her lips against Kaylee's, but everything River did was a surprise, so she took it in her stride and kissed back. The rain ran down their faces in rivulets, pushing against their lips and making the kiss slippery and hard to breath through, so they opened their mouths and tasted the rain as they tasted each other. River was still laughing, giggles erupting from her open mouth between every kiss, and Kaylee smiled and held her tighter. She turned her head to press kisses against River's soft, wet cheek and let the laughter run free like the rain.

With one final kiss, Kaylee took River's hand and tugged her inside. They were both shivering, both needed a bath and a warm change of clothes. River followed her solemnly, eyes watching the sky until they were back inside and the loud roar of the rain all around them turned into a dull clatter against Serenity's hull.

River closed her eyes and breathed deeply. When she opened them, she only had eyes for Kaylee.

“Thanks,” she said, pushing a wet strand of hair back from her face with a shivering hand. She smiled, and said: “It's better with two.”

This.

2009-06-13T20:38:20Z

So this is probably the most hilarious moment of my life:

A few days ago Rob finished his exams. As you can probably guess, the first thing he did was chug a big ol' bottle of vodka and get silly. So he was in the living room, saying hello to me, which involved high fiving me so hard that my palm began to sting... anyway, he was in the living room and Matt walked in.

Matt said three words: "Rob. Bathroom window."

The next thing I know, Rob has toodled off to the bathroom, Matt is watching out of the window in the hallway and I'm covering my eyes and whimpering "I refuse to watch him die!"

Within ten seconds, Rob had jumped out of the second floor bathroom window. Matt shouted "Oh God, he's hit a car!" and I was really, really convinced that he'd actually managed to kill himself, this time. And then there's a sound n the stairs and Rob is dragging himself back up and complaining about how much it "fucking hurt!"

He's been walking around on crutches. Matt had to push him around Sainsburys in a wheelchair, and if they'd gone half an hour earlier I could have pointed and laughed from the chekout. Rob has taken the official line "I fell down the stairs while completely sober" because his sister's staying for a week and she neither drinks nor understands drunken behaviour.

But, oh guys. The silly look on Rob's face when he decided that jumping out of the bathroom window was the best idea he'd ever had. So precious.

Life and stuff. And Reggae sauce.

2009-06-03T22:11:52Z

I impulse-bought a new MP3 Player. It is purple. I will put music on it and then I will listen to the music and possibly sing along, out loud or in my brain.

It's nice to have money to throw away on things. I also impulse-bought something from Simply Pleasure, but no details about that unless you want them.

Another impulse buy was Reggae sauce instead of tomato ketchup. Here are the things that go well with Reggae sauce: everything. So far I've had it with bacon sammiches, fried egg sammiches, chicken nuggets and (currently halfway through eating and very much enjoying) cheese on toast. The bottle is sitting cheerfully in the fridge with the silhouette of a dancing Jamaican on the label. This is good shit, man. I'm telling ya'.

In other news, it's sunny and my housemates have bought water balloons. I've learned to look up as I'm entering and exiting the house. Whenever Matt calls me upstairs to look at something, I know what's coming (but I go up there anyway because that way they soak the stairs and not any of my stuff). It's kind of refreshing to be soaked half-way through a swelteringly hot day.

Me and Rob had a nice revision session earlier. We tore pages out of the Ikea catalogue and threw them at some Relentless bottles, and every time we missed we had to say something about Victorian literature. We missed a lot.

Now I shall go back to not-revising.

The Logical Response To The Discovery That Your Lover Has Turned Into A Kitten.

2009-05-28T20:29:38Z

Bob and Dekaff have corrupted me. They kept insisting that Spock loves kittens, so I drew Spock cuddling a kitten on the first page of the sketchpad that Dekaff bought me. Then I decided the kitten must be Uhura. So this is the picture, and if you click on it you can read the accompanying fanfiction.

It's so cute. How could I not have realised before that Spock loves kittens? It's just so obvious.

Ideas again please

2009-05-26T10:28:46Z

It's time for another week-long creative writing exam. This time I don't have to write a self reflective essay, but the tasks I have to choose from are a bit longer.

You must answer TWO of the following questions.

1. Write a prose fiction story of 2,000 words, containing at least 3 characters, in which one of the characters is clearly outside their comfort zone.

2. Write a 2,000 word piece of travel writing about a journey/expedition/pilgrimage you have made within the United Kingdom. Descriptions of modes of transport should not be included.

3. Write a 2,000 word treatment outline for a film screenplay, whose plot revolves around the idea of being 'let down'.

4. Write either:

a short narrative sequence of poems of 60-70 lines

a single narrative poem of 60-70 lines

whose subject derives from two short lines borrowed from a published novel or short story. Please append a photocopy of the page from the original novel or short story in which the lines appear, with the two lines clearly highlighted.

So I have a multitude of ideas for the first question, my favourites of which include "Someone wakes up the opposite gender. Everyone else either thinks this is normal, or their reactions aren’t helpful" and "The characters are a devil and an angel on someone’s shoulder (the person being the third character) and the angel is uncomfortable about what the devil is trying to convince the person to do".

For the second question, my only good idea is to write about the time we travelled to the faerie realm outside Lafrowda last year.

For the third question, I came up with some half arsed ideas about relationships and maybe jilting at the altar, and then had this brainwave: "Take the prompt literally and write about a balloon being let down."

And for the last question I'm considering these quotes:
-“Yes, it was an act of God. But which God?” (Douglas Adams, Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul) – write about an argument in a crowded heaven/war between gods/ballad of the gods/a god’s confession (Loki or one of the other tricksters)
-"Outside! What's it like?"
"Well -- It's sort of big" (Terry Pratchett, Truckers) – write about a Mormon doing their year out thing, or someone who’s spent their life in an underground bunker, waiting for radiation levels to return to normal.
-a line from Blueberry Girl? Last stanza – hints at finding things out for herself. Fallen woman, talking about the wrong decisions she’s made? Some kind of historical woman who made bad choices – could focus on how she was a good person, or how she became corrupted.
(Here's the last stanza of Blueberry Girl by Neil Gaiman. Italicised are the lines I'm thinking of using)

Ladies of Paradox, Ladies of Measure,
Ladies of Shadows-That-Fall;
this is a prayer for a Blueberry Girl,
Words written clear on a wall.
Help her to help herself, help her to stand,
Help her to lose, and to find.
Teach her we're only as big as our dreams,
show her that fortune is blind.
Truth is a thing she must find for herself,
precious, and rare as a pearl;
Give her all these, and a little bit more,
give this for a Blueberry Girl.

So I'll definitely be doing question 1, and I can't decide between the others. Question four would be interesting but difficult. Question 2 might be boring and I don't really have a proper idea for question 3.

Anyone have any input? Your own ideas you don't mind me using, additions to my ideas, or just feedback on which of my ideas you liked?

This is so beautiful I want to cry.

2009-05-25T22:41:17Z

I don't have a camera, so this is a transcript of my receipt.

PRICE REDUCTION
ORIGINAL PRICE 0.65
   TRELLIS APPLE                                               0.20
PRICE REDUCTION
ORIGINAL PRICE 0.89
    BUN CHELSEA                                                0.10
PRICE REDUCTION
ORIGINAL PRICE 0.89
    BUN CINNAMON                                             0.10

    4 BALANCE DUE                                              0.40
         Cake 3 for 2                                               -0.10

           TOTAL TO PAY 0.30

I am keeping this forever.